


A Silhouette

by kindnessandlaughter



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Guilt, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14592366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindnessandlaughter/pseuds/kindnessandlaughter
Summary: She was cursed to repeat this endless cycle of violence against the person she loved most in this terrible world.If there truly was a God out there, then surely he was laughing at her.[Spoilers, takes place prior to the events of Nier: Automata]





	A Silhouette

It was difficult to keep her heartbeat at ease while she waited by the grassy cliff side, with the evening sky plastered in hues of bright orange and amber. The view overlooked a rushing river and a rather raucous waterfall, one that could at least be easily ignored with the distraction of company.

It also allowed for her own thoughts to be overridden in the meantime, a fact that she relished far more than she should have. Though a soldier through and through, and a YoRHa unit for that matter, sometimes 2B, too, tired of constantly keeping her guard up. Of constantly thinking of her duty, her mission, her goal, though never at a personal level. It was always for the Bunker, and for the glory of mankind.  

What she would do today would also occur due to obligation.

By now the sky had turned considerably orange, reflecting how long she had been waiting under the poplar tree for 9S. He had contacted her not long before, explaining that maintenance would likely take longer than expected, though she had hoped that he would arrive before nightfall. She wouldn’t have the nerve to postpone the meeting for another day, and would have to resort to a new plan altogether. A far less ideal plan, no doubt.

As the wind blew her hair back, she heard her name being faintly called somewhere nearby. 2B quickly stood up and turned around to see 9S trekking the small hillside, a smile stretching so easily on his face as they made eye contact. He continued the jog towards her.

“Sorry I’m late! I came here as fast as I could.” He closed the remaining distance between them until they were face to face. He quickly glimpsed the surroundings, likely looking for some significance of the location. “Um, why are we here, exactly?”

She had been secretive with the whole ordeal, only sending him a transmission telling him to leave his Pod in the Bunker, detailing where to go on the map, and to not dally. Though seeming slightly nervous at their conversation, 9S had promised to show up as soon as possible to whatever surprise awaited him.

2B was unable to contain a small smile at his eagerness to get to her. She gently grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side of the clearing where she had laid the cloth, the throw pillows, the blankets, and the stack of books, merely gesturing at it as if it already explained her intent.

9S looked confused. “What’s this?”

Sitting down on the blanket herself, 2B tried to mask the grimness in her voice as she spoke. “It’s for you. I know it isn’t much…”

The situation did not warrant it, yet she found herself strangely abashed.

9S seemed to stutter to get a word out, though unable to formulate anything truly coherent. Looking at her quickly, he took in the small set-up beneath him.

The silence that followed coerced her into offering more of an explanation. “You said you wanted to relax after all the work we’ve done.”

9S let out a small laugh before settling down beside her. “Whoa… I didn’t think you were taking me seriously!”

“Of course I was.” It was merely a fact that she listened to his trivialities.

“And you did this for me?” He asked, sounding slightly skittish. She nodded again. It was hard to tell with the visor occulting most of his facial features, but she could almost detect his excitement. He reached for her hand, which she gave with no hesitation, and squeezed. A light blush had crossed his features, a blush that even his visor couldn’t hide. “2B, you didn’t have to.”

He was so touched that she cared enough to provide this for him, not knowing that she wished she could give him so much more than a stack of books.

“I wanted to. I value your happiness, 9S.”

9S grinned widely. “I didn’t think you knew what relaxation even meant.”

“I’m well versed in highly, well-estimated guesses.”

Their hands were still clasped together, a fact that 2B found herself relishing. With her other hand, she reached for one of the novels and passed it to him.

“These are only reconstructions of old human data.” 2B admitted. “I’m not sure if they’re even coherent.”

“That’s fine! We can still try it.” He shifted his body, pressing even closer to her to the point where they were tightly side by side. 9S placed the novel between them, and flipped to a chapter that captured his interest the most.

2B had expected this, she doubted he would have resorted to reading them by himself, yet she was still glad to share this small moment with him. Even despite the fact that she had no interest in what was in those novels to begin with.

They sat together, cross-legged, as they dwelled into the pages. This particular chapter was filled with pointless meandering and mindless pondering, enough that it bored her. It didn’t even pose as a sufficient distraction to ease her throbbing heart, or to even forget that 9S was beginning to rest his head on her shoulder in such a comfortable gesture. Not to mention that his visor was also gone, further fueling the idea that this was but a leisure act.

After about a few page turns, 9S turned to her. “2B? Would you read it out loud? If you don’t mind, I mean.”

She only stared at him questioningly, though it didn’t deter him. 9S spoke again. “It would be a nice change and… I… I think your voice is a lot more soothing than mine.”

It was a small sacrifice to make. She moved the book closer to her direction and began to read loud enough to be heard through the waterfall. “ _It is therefore by the very thrust of the engaged consciousness that a value and a weight will be conferred on motives and on prior causes...”_

2B’s mind wandered as she read, unable to stop herself from enjoying the sensation of the two of them together, as much as she tried. After a while 9S, suddenly overcome with a sudden fit of drowsiness, shifted his head to the point where he was leaning more on her breast than her arm. She couldn’t even conjure any embarrassment, instead replaced with a sense of fondness as he dozed beside her.

She couldn’t even help herself. She leaned her own head on top of his and closed her eyes as if to sleep, though 2B’s guard never faltered. She listened to the howling of the wind and the chirps of birds as they flew to their nests to escape night fall. She felt 9S’s deep breathing as his chest deeply dipped and rose, while 2B’s own chest seemed to tighten.

The sky was almost completely dark now, and it seemed that they would be unable to finish their novel today.

2B moved her arm so that it would be around 9S, no longer fearing the intimate contact she had so often craved. It still wasn’t enough, but any thoughts of such manners froze when 9S lifted his head.

He had awoken, and was wiping the remaining sleep from his eyes. Mid-way through he stopped, as if a realization had dawned on him, and he shifted to seemingly get a better look at her face.

“9S?” 2B prodded.

Even in the low light she could see his bright, glistening eyes. They had just laid in silence for almost half an hour, without a word to be spoken, yet he was looking at her as if they had shared an emotional conversation instead. 

“I…” 9S started. “I just wanted to say…”

2B froze.

Perhaps detecting her hesitance, despite the struggle to maintain her countenance, 9S bit his lip before speaking again. “Nothing. I’m just glad you’re here.” He couldn’t contain a small smile as his hair was tousled in the wind. “Thank you for everything.”

“My pleasure.” She mumbled, knowing it didn’t go unheard due to the soft crinkles forming on his nose.

Her heart tightened with desires unspoken. How much she urged for him to finish that sentence, and to take him into an embrace that spoke louder than anything she could ever possibly say. To indulge in that selfish part of her that yearned to even kiss him. Instead, she stood up and trailed back to the poplar tree.

She had dug her sword within the bark to make room for the peaceful setting. 2B grabbed the heft and easily pulled it out.

It looked like the night had ended.

Still, 9S laid there at ease, staring at the sky that seemed to loom in front of them, beyond the grassy cliff and into the sights of the bright, illuminating stars. Was he still dozing, or merely admiring the view? She could not tell by the angle she had moved to, or by the way she had repositioned herself entirely. Facing only 9S’s back, it was difficult to know anything at that point.

9S began to speak, but she was refusing to listen. She could tell that he had stopped mid-sentence, however, interrupted by his own choked cry.

It took only one low movement for the sword to stab his back almost with ease, hitting the exact mark 2B had been aiming for. A metallic clang rang, following the collision of the tip of the sword into his body, passing through wires and machinery. She put more effort into digging it deeper, until it protruded through his chest.  

The pain was palpable, especially as 9S began to gasp and wheeze with terror. Strangled only by what was occurring elsewhere in his body, out of his reach, completely at the mercy of the person who unequivocally loved him the most.

With the same impassive face, 2B retreated the blade before sheathing it once more in 9S’s lower back. The act caused another convulsion, unleashing oil everywhere. It was as if a faucet had turned on, in an attempt for every increment of 9S’s body to flow out into the dim night.

And still, with so much pain undoubtedly ravaging his body, with his circuits burning at the exertion to keep him conscious— to keep him _alive_ — he groaned something that sounded like her name. He then slumped forward, the blade still inside him.

2B did not need a pod to confirm that she had successfully killed him.

She waited for the waves of nausea to pass, a momentary sensation that had occurred in more recent executions. The exertion to keep her shaking hands steady was not aiding in this endeavor, as she could not seem to possess the strength to take Virtuous Treaty out of 9S.

With a small moan, one she had been trying to contain the entire time, she swiped the blade away. The sloppiness of the movement just caused a greater injury, one that sprayed the blankets, the cloth, and her dress even further with oil.

With the sword no longer keeping his balance, the shell 9S once inhabited fell forward. All 2B could see was his ravaged back, wounded beyond belief to the point where it had claimed his life.

She soon realized that the books she had brought, that had sat beside him, were stained dark red as well.

A thought, which would have been humorous in any other scenario, seemed to stick out in her mind as the rest of the situation settled in the background like a fog.

…Why did she get so many books?

There was no possible way that 9S was going to finish even one of them, since she knew he had to die tonight.

2B tried to dismiss such a ridiculous thought by focusing on her duty: wipe his memory by terminating it, and replace it with the default data. The actions that would cause them to get partnered together as if anew, with her harshly tearing him down every time he reached out to her.

And yet, even without intending it, even when she tried to pull away, he had always broken her defenses. Enough that physicality, intimacy, and _warmth_ was nothing new for either of them. Each time she regretted being so weak, but she still never learned.

And then he would die.

Again and again and again and _again--_

_Why did she get so many fucking books?_

She wasn’t strong enough to hold back the tears anymore. As they began to fall, violent sobs racked through her body as if it were the first time. She collapsed on her knees, the anguish and pain so blatant on her face that she was glad she was in a dark and isolated area, drowned by the sounds of the waterfall.

2B chose no more restraint, allowing herself to bawl into the night sky. In an act catalyzed by pure emotion, she crawled towards 9S’s corpse, lifted him, and took him in her arms.  The chest area seemed to be in even worse condition, filled with dents and holes that continued to leak, but his face had gone slack and his eyes were closed. Enough that it provided the illusion that he had felt no pain in his final moments.

She brought her face down to his in an intimate gesture, the tears still never ceasing, and cradled his head as if he could still feel. 2B could only imagine what his real response would have been. Likely a goofy smile to replace his embarrassment, but sharing the same desires she had.

9S would touch her, and the sensation alone would overrun her sensors.

She had tried to indulge herself in an evening of relaxation for the two of them, but it was evident that such an idea was a pointless endeavor. As Pod 153 had endlessly droned, as even the Commander had warned her, planning the evening was far crueler than the alternative, and was merely stalling the inevitable. It made the grief worse.

How could she keep finesse at seeing him again?

She could beg Command not to partner her with him, but the thought of someone else needlessly taking his life filled her with dread.  

Perhaps she was a selfish monster, wanting him all to herself.

Perhaps she really did derive pleasure from killing him over and over.

The scenery was still beautiful, despite the darkness that engulfed it. After hours by his side, 2B managed to summon enough self-control to finalize her mission and restart his data.

Now she just needed to get rid of the body that laid so heavily in her arms. But she did choose a location that was right beside a waterfall, allowing anything that fell within its grasp to disappear into the lake below.

Moments like these made her realize just how ill-suited she was for this mission. As a result, she detached herself from the situation, from 9S, and from the emotions so prominent in her heart. 2B focused on her mission.

And turned back into the cold android she was programmed to be.


End file.
